「where where 笑话」求解一个留学生笑话
求解一个留学生笑话
挺搞笑的,呵呵。 解释: where you from.....出租车客服是问从哪里出发,傻小子理解成了你来自哪里,回答的:“中国”。 sorry, we can not do that.....出租车客服调侃一下说:“不成,拉不了呀。” why~?傻小子生气了还问:“为嘛拉不了呀?” 出租车客服无语了。。。讲十个笑话要爆笑
这个搞笑笑话太多了,看了这些你能笑起来的,刚好有8个冷笑话,1.糗事搞笑坐车冷笑话大全,今天遇到一个奇葩事啊,很搞笑,坐公交车遇到一个老奶奶也上车,拿着吃了一半的大饼对着刷卡的地方刷半天也没反应,司机师傅说:大娘~要不您换一根油条试试。2.早上起床心情挺好, 于是特别小清新的对老公说:“每天醒来看见你和阳光都在,那就是我要的未来!” 自认为特别感人! 二货老公却说:“杨光是谁?” 老婆看了那个快递一块砖头代表专一的,扭头问我:“老公,人家这么浪漫,如果是你你要送我什么啊? ” 我不加思索答:“大粪捏的桃心。” 老婆问我代表啥,我华丽丽地答:“屎心塌地。”3.外屋一女同事打电话进来,说她电脑有问题:打字的时候光标经常无缘无故地往前跑。来到她座位旁让她演示一下,于是她在电脑前打了会字。突然,光标真的就一直往前跑了!偶低头一看,狂晕——原来是胸部太大压到键盘的空格键了!4.别人上车练车,第一句话都是小声嘀咕道:“打火,踩离合,挂档,松离合,走起。”而我上车练车,第一句话一般都是大声先喊一句:“都TM闪开!闪开!闪开!”5.我是个建筑师,一天我坐在路边一边喝水一边苦苦画图。这时一个乞丐在我边上坐下了,开始要饭o我觉得可怜,就给了他1块钱,然后接着改图o他可能生意不好,就无聊的看看我在干什么。然后过了一会,他幽幽地说:。这里少了个标高。。6.成人进修班的作文题目是描写一个浪漫意境。同学们读出作文时,我听到的都是些陈腔滥调,例如炉火熊熊、烛光摇曳或音乐轻柔等等。只有一个女同学别出心裁,她写的是:“屋里很清静,孩子们都不在家。”7.一哥们网上买东西,对我说:“来,帮我付一下款!”“我卡上没多少钱咋付?”“有多少?”“500!”没一会儿他说到:“哦,我砍到500了!”“你妹,看着我卡上余额砍的价么?”“嗯!”我。。。8.听说公司最近在研究人事晋升问题,我赶紧买了两条中华送到经理家中,他略为失望地指着那两条牙膏问我:“小王,你这样就没有诚意了吧?”我听了脸一红,急忙又去超市买了两支牙刷。最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
内容来自用户:三一作文 *篇一:爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话(一)老师在黑板上写了一句:Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说:MayIgotothetoilet?老师说:Goahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:MayIgotothetoilet?老师说:Goahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!英语笑话(二)某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:Iamhongtaoliu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!英语笑话(三)江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"MissJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where?Where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere,everywhere."翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:"Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee."英语笑话(四)话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
英语经典小笑话
内容来自用户:彡彡九图文 英语经典小笑话 篇一:经典英语小笑话 经典英语小笑话英语笑话(一) 英语老师问一个学生,“howareyou是什么意思”学生想how是怎么,you是你,于是回答“怎么是你?”老师生气又问另一个同学:“howoldareyou?是什么意思?” 这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你。 英语笑话(二) 老师在黑板上写了一句:Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。” 英语笑话(三) 小明上英文课时跟老师说:mayIgotothetoilet?老师说:goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说:goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去? 小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊! 英语笑话(四) 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:Iamhongtaoliu,外宾 曰:我Tm还是方片七呢! 英语笑话(五) 江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"where?where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"everywhere,everywhere." 翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:轮到英语笑话(十)Duringthecele
英语小笑话
1、A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.一天,教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷,然后回到讲台前等待。考试结束了,学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票,还有一张纸条写着:“一分一块钱。”第二堂课,教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。2、George comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..."9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。“乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问。“妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”3、Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。4、Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."客人:“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”旅馆主人:“我不敢想象,除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”5、Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot!牙医:请不要再叫了,我都还没有挨着你的牙齿啊!病人:但是,亲,你可知道,你踩到我脚了!!!6、A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, “Who is the most obedient, never talks back tomother and does everything he or she is told?” he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: “You play with it, Daddy!”一个有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里,把孩子们召集来问这件礼物应该给谁。“谁最听话,从不和妈妈顶嘴,让干什么就干什么?”他问道。大家都不吭声。过了一会儿,孩子们异口同声地说:“爸爸,您玩儿吧。”拓展资料
第一则 Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".第二则Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the "egg"?Student: In the cake, Sir.第三则George comes from school on the first of September.George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....英语小笑话大全
1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到? 汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD... 2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 3)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 4)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后,妈妈问他,“你买的是好用的火柴吗?” “是的,妈妈。”汤米回答,“我把它们都试过了。” 5)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车 父亲:哎呀,我刚才违规右转弯了。 苏西:没事,爸,跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。 5)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” 7)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说,“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” 8)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。 老师:请说说看。 学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。经典英语小笑话
内容来自用户:三一课件库 *篇一:爆笑的经典英语小笑话爆笑的经典英语小笑话英语笑话(一)老师在黑板上写了一句:Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说:MayIgotothetoilet?老师说:Goahead.小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:MayIgotothetoilet?老师说:Goahead.小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!英语笑话(二)某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:Iamhongtaoliu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢!英语笑话(三)江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:"MissJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:"Where?Where?"外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:"Everywhere,everywhere."翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:"Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee."英语笑话(四)话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。